everyone is single if you try hard enough
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
