That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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