Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
