girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
