no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
