I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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