I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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