Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
