Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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