She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
