My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
