Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm always down for nudity.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
