Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
