They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
