So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
