You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
