Pregnant stripper...not hot.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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