So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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