great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
