That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
