Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
