I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
