Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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