If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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