how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you had me at cake vodka
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
