I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
