I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
