I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
