A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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