This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
