how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just had sex on a roof
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
