This girl is more easily done than said...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
