I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
