We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
