Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I believe in your delicious
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
