Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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