Just mADE A PArabola og urine
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
