Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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