i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
