I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
