I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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