...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
