whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
