I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
