Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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