Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
