dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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