You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I did not marry a roomba.
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