i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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