She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
